It is not very uncommon among children to yell to get the things done from parents.
Ideally children should be asking or requesting for the things to parents, but how do really things move from request to yelling. well not always children are at fault.
Many times angry parents are at fault for bad behaviors of children, following are few points parents should keep in mind while raising children.
Following are few tips for parents which can help stop child yelling
1. Take a look at yourself
Most of the time children learn from surrounding rather than explicit teaching.
If child has been in an environment which has frequent
arguments and fights, child picks up the behavior implicitly. They learn what they see.
2. Say “I can’t hear you!”
If you child starts yelling just say “I can’t hear you!”, You have to talk normal/quieter so I can hear you!”. It took a little time, and sometimes they would go backwards, but eventually they would learn that you love them enough to listen even if they talked in a quieter, non-whiney voice!
3. They’re just exploring their limits and boundaries
Children during growing age are just keen to explore their limits, boundaries and discover what they can do with their bodies.
4. Teach your child about inside voice (soft) and an outside voice (loud)
Tell your children that they an inside voice (soft) and an outside voice (loud) and when they are loud, remind them to talk softer and not be so loud. You can show them with your own voice how to make it softer and louder.
Tell them you won’t be able to hear unless they talk with inside voice. If they yell, just remind/show that they won’t get anywhere unless they talks quieter/softer. Eventually it will catch on.
The yelling/being loud and noisy is just a stage, but it’s also a major part of being a child. Don’t totally expect them to be still and quiet all the time. Children are just like that.
5. Lower your expectations.
If you find yourself yelling at your kids all the time, you may simply be expecting too much of them. There’s only so long a baby can sit crammed into a car seat or a toddler can walk in a mall.
Acquaint yourself with what’s developmentally appropriate and then tweak your actions; one hour-long trip to the supermarket rather than hours of errands will reduce whining.
6. Give physical activity.
For some children, yelling offers a form of physical release. ‘Jogging in place’ or ‘doing a jumping jack’ can distract and give them the outlet they need when they feel like yelling.
You probably don’t want to do this in public, of course, but at home anything goes. Who knows? You may lose a few pounds!
7. Ask for help.
If child is yelling and you in return yell is only going escalate situation, taking care of children can be exhausting to say the least. And yelling is a definite sign of stress and fatigue, which means you need (and deserve) a break.
Have your family or a trusted therapist step in so you can get some much-needed time to rejuvenate. Read: Calm Down Time
8. Just whisper
It sounds weird, we know. But if your child has to strain to hear you, he’s less likely to tune you out. And it’s nearly impossible to sound angry (and scary) when you’re speaking softly.
9. Have you checked your child’s hearing lately
Sometimes, kids with hearing difficulties or blocked ears, infection, etc. make it hard for them to determine how loud their voices are.
10. Get out of the Argument
As a parent, once you’ve reached the stage where you’re in an argument with your child, your job is to get out of it as quickly as possible. The next time your child starts yelling at you, calmly say, “Don’t talk to me that way, I don’t like it,” and then turn around and walk away.
11. Give your child choices
Children often seek control due to the fact that they are always being told what to do. Give your child choices you are comfortable with (e.g., “Do you want to wear the green shirt or red shirt?” “Do you want jelly or butter on your bagel?” “Do you want to do your math or reading homework first?”).
12. Tell your child what to do, instead of what not to do.
Research, and my own experience of working with children for over 16 years, shows that children (even teenagers) respond better to specific directions than to being told not to do something.
Some examples include:
1. “Keep working on your homework.” rather than “Stop daydreaming.”
2. “Here, draw on this paper.” rather than “Stop drawing on the walls.”
13. Take an interest when your child tells you something
Listen patiently to children about their thoughts, feelings, ideas, or just about their day. Children are often excited to tell their parents something.
14. Take an interest when your child shows you something he/she did.
Children want to feel like we care about the things they are excited about, the things they did for the first time, the things they did by themselves, or the things they created. Even if you think it is no big deal, it is a big deal to them and that should be enough to make it a big deal for you. Again, this helps with confidence and self-esteem.
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